I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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