so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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