Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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