i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
God I need to hump something, right now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
