at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
