I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this will be a night to untag.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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