Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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