watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize