I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
