have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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