Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
