Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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