Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
