this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
