just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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