The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
