Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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