he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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