I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
