i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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