Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize