i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I will die if light touches me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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