He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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