i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
