I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
