i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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