I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
