OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
