Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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