he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
