even my farts smell like vagina
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
