I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
