I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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