If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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