I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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