what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
