Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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