You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
