Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
