I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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