Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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