What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
