pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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