No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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