She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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