i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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