$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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