Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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