i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize