And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
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Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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