y did u give ur computer a hand job?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
