please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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