She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize