so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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