I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
