you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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