I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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