Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
